


professional development

by imposterhuman



Series: shield high school au [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Capture the Flag, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, No Angst, Teacher Bruce Banner, Teacher Clint Barton, Teacher Loki (Marvel), Teacher Natasha Romanov, Teacher Steve Rogers, Teacher Tony Stark, all happiness, professional development, teacher rhodey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 06:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18823426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: teacher workshops at shs are anything but boring; it's capture the flag this year and it's an all out war when tony and loki are put on different teams





	professional development

**Author's Note:**

> clearing out my wips pt 1
> 
> fun fact: this is actually based off of a professional development workshop that my hs teachers did this summer
> 
> enjoy!

“Don’t you just  _ love  _ professional development?” Loki mocked, watching Maria Hill present what was possibly the most boring presentation in the history of presentations.

 

“Would it kill her to use colors?” Tony whispered back. “Like, is the greyscale doing something for her?”

 

“Besides making me lose all respect for her?” Loki said sweetly. “Not a thing.”

 

“Can we skip this and get to the teacher bonding?” Clint called from the back of the room where he was throwing paper balls at an unsuspecting Steve, who was, quite literally,  _ taking notes _ . “Seriously, Maria, all due respect, but this is boring as  _ fuck _ .”

 

Maria glared at him. “Just for that, I’m going to go slower,” she said primly. “You know I’m required to do this, Barton. You have a problem, take it up with Fury.”

 

“Is that an invitation?” Clint said, already halfway out of his seat.

 

“Sit  _ down _ , Barton.”

 

Clint sat.

 

“This never ends,” Tony moaned, leaning on Loki. “Do you think that PDA slide was directed at us?”

 

Loki combed his fingers through Tony’s hair and ran his other hand soothingly down his back, all while giving him chaste kisses. “Oh, not at all,” he pulled away with a smirk.

 

“Laufeyson and Stark, I  _ will  _ separate you, don’t test me,” Maria seethed from the front of the room.

 

“Sorry, Maria,” they chorused, looking at each other and giggling like schoolchildren. 

 

Maria groaned. “I’m done,” she announced. “Here’s the gist: don’t be assholes to your students. Any questions?” Steve dutifully raised his hand. Maria ignored him. “Good, none. Go do whatever inane activity they have for bonding.” She rubbed her temples in exhaustion. “I need a goddamn drink.”

 

Tony, Loki, and the rest of the teachers filed out of the auditorium, looking exactly like the students they taught as they made their way to the cafeteria. 

 

“What do you think it’s going to be this year?” Bruce asked the group. 

 

“What’s  _ what  _ going to be?” Steve asked shyly.

 

“Shit, it’s your first year, isn’t it?” Clint said. “I totally forgot. Well, you’re in for a surprise. Every year, after these stupid workshops, administration makes us do weird bonding shit.”

 

“Last year, it was charades,” Tony volunteered. “Loki and I kicked ass.”

 

“That’s because you two have some weird telepathic lovey-dovey shit going on,” said Rhodey, waving a hand. He leaned in towards Steve to whisper conspiratorially, “Those two always win if it’s a contest. If you beat them, you win the pot, which has been going for something like seven years now.”

 

“I heard a rumor that it’s capture the flag this year,” Natasha said. She was basically a Russian spy, so everyone knew her  _ rumors  _ were, more often than not, facts. No one knew where she got her information, but everyone just went along with it. 

 

“Dibs on Loki!” Tony shouted. “If we’re picking teams, dibs on Loki.”

 

Loki grinned. “You don’t want to give them the chance to win?” he said innocently. 

 

“Fuck, no,” said Tony. “We have a streak, dear. We wouldn’t want to break it now.”

 

“I really hate you two,” said Rhodey. “Like, literal hatred. I would sell you both to Satan for one corn chip.”

 

“You spend too much time with teenagers if you’re quoting tumblr,” Tony shot back at his best friend, who smacked him.

 

The squabbling group walked into the cafeteria to meet a bland-faced Coulson. 

 

“Agent!” Tony greeted, relishing in the other man’s eye roll. He hadn’t seen Coulson since his promotion to administration. He’d never admit it, but he missed the man.

 

“Still not a secret agent,” he said. “Everyone, sit down. As usual, we’re concluding your professional development with a bonding activity. This year’s is-”

 

“Capture the flag?” Natasha asked, doe eyes out in full force.

 

Coulson sighed. “Yes,” he confirmed. Natasha's tiny victory dance was filled with smug satisfaction. “Unlike previous years, though, I will be assigning teams, to force all of you to interact outside of your departments.”

 

“Oh, no,” Tony breathed sadly. “He’s going to split us up.”

 

Coulson did, indeed, split them up. “Laufeyson, Banner, Rhodes, you three are on the green team with the rest of the Language and Phys-Ed departments. Stark, Rogers, Barton, and Romanoff, you are red with Science and Math. The entire History department has come down with the flu, conveniently after hearing about the activity, so they will not be participating. Please get with your teams. The game begins in five minutes.”

 

Loki crossed to the other side of the room with the rest of his team. “It seems we are enemies on the field of battle, Stark,” he announced, smiling wickedly. 

 

“Defect,” Tony narrowed his eyes. “Or prepare for defeat, Laufeyson.”

 

“Loser does the dishes for the next week?” Loki offered.

 

“And the laundry. DUM-E spilled oil all over my dresser and you’re the only one who knows how to get it out,” Tony countered with a small shrug.

 

“Do you seriously not know how to use a washing machine?” Loki asked incredulously. 

 

“What do you think Butterfingers is for?” Tony smiled sheepishly. “Now, do we have a deal?”

 

“Yes. You’re going to lose, and I’m going to cook only messy things.”

 

“I will soak all of your clothes in one of DUM-E’s smoothies.”

 

“Are we sure they’re dating?” Steve whispered to Natasha. “That felt awfully mean.”

 

Loki and Tony were still sniping at each other. Natasha watched them with fond eyes. “We’re sure,” she said softly, almost wistfully. “They really are in love. It’s gross.”

 

Steve nodded, not quite convinced. “We’re on the same team, right?” he asked, changing the subject. “Do we have some sort of strategy, or something?”

 

Clint shouldered his way into the conversation. “The strategy is to let Tony distract Loki and then grab the flag,” he said. “Those two are going to try to attack each other, so we just have to beat Bruce and Rhodes.”

 

“Will that be hard?” Steve asked, eyeing the two men. 

 

“Rhodes teaches ROTC,” Natasha explained. “He’s quite good at games like these. And don’t count Bruce out; you won’t like him when he’s angry.”

 

Steve gulped. “Okay, then. What are the odds we win?”

 

“With Tony on our side?” Clint said. “High. The man’s never met a game he didn't want to utterly annihilate.”

 

“Same could be said about Loki,” Natasha pointed out. “I’d say we have a fair chance, but don’t get cocky.”

 

Tony strode over, red-faced but grinning from his argument with Loki. “So, what’s the plan?” he asked.

 

“Distract Loki,” promised Natasha. “We’ll take care of the rest.”

 

\---

 

Distracting Loki, as it turned out, was harder than it looked. Tony hadn’t fully appreciated his lover’s competitive spirit until they were on opposite sides. Loki was cool and collected, instructing his team with all the grace of a prince. He stuck near the flag; too far away for Tony to taunt, but too close for Tony to ignore. Tony tried making faces, calling insults, even promising various favors to try to get Loki to move, but nothing worked. His boyfriend was stubborn, that was for sure.

 

The green team might have had Loki, but the red team had Natasha.

 

Tony was  _ convinced  _ she was a former Soviet assassin. There was literally no other explanation as to how she slunk so silently across the gymnasium floor, especially in her six inch heels. While Tony’s distraction might not have worked to get Loki away from the flag, it did make Loki watch him instead of the flag. Natasha, the sneaky bastard, snuck right up next to him to take it. 

 

Tony had never been gladder to have such a good poker face. He almost lost it at the sight of Natasha, unseen by Loki, hovering over his boyfriend’s shoulder with the flag in her grip.

 

“Chemistry sucks!” Tony shouted when it looked like Loki was about to turn. “All you do is mix some beakers and pretend you know what you’re doing!”

 

Loki cocked an eyebrow. “All  _ you  _ do in engineering is stack cogs together,” he shot back.

 

“At least engineering is useful,” Tony snarked, deliberately  _ not  _ tracking Natasha with his eyes as she ran back to their side. “What does it matter if you know how to titrate a weak acid with a strong base?”

 

“What does it matter if you can- yes!” Loki cut off as Rhodey came out of nowhere to tag Natasha and steal their flag back. “You’ll have to do better than that to distract me, love.”

 

“Fuck,” Tony hissed. Natasha sent him a look, going to sit on the bleachers with the other teachers who were already out. “Chemistry sucks, you suck, and you’re still going to lose!”

 

Loki blew him a kiss, the asshole. 

 

Tony was going to kill him.

 

\---

 

Loki was having an unexpected amount of fun for a professional development day. Normally, he hated them with a passion reserved only for brussel sprouts and English majors, but he was very much enjoying crushing Tony’s team.

 

Tony’s team was getting smaller and smaller, Loki’s team easily picking off the Science and Math departments. His own team had lost the Language teachers fairly quickly, but it didn’t matter much. Really, Rhodes and Banner were assets. Rhodes was great at strategy, being the ROTC teacher, and Banner was an absolute rage monster once they got him going.

 

They had sent Natasha first, as expected. Loki often wondered why she taught Human Behavior instead of Dance, she was that graceful. It was Banner who had suggested they let her get close to lull her into a false sense of security. The man was more cunning than he looked; Loki admired that.

 

With her out of the game, Loki wasn’t really worried. Sure, Tony was a force of nature, but Barton and Rogers were decidedly less so. 

 

The thought crossed his mind that  _ maybe  _ they were taking the game a little too seriously, especially when he looked across the gym and saw his lover concocting some sort of weird weapon from gym equipment right near the boundary line.

 

“Tony, darling, what are you making?” he said cautiously, intimately familiar with the manic grin on the engineer’s face. Unconsciously, he took a few steps forward. 

 

“Not sure,” Tony admitted. Somehow, there was a screwdriver in his hand. Loki didn’t want to know why. “I’m pretty sure it won’t explode.”

 

“Tony,  _ why _ ?” Loki stared in shock at the  _ thing  _ Tony had made. “What does it do?”

 

“Great question,” said Tony, turning it on him and firing. A dodgeball hit Loki square in the chest. 

 

“You’re sleeping on the couch,” Loki growled, stepping forward again.

 

Rogers came out of nowhere to tag him. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “You crossed the boundary line.”

 

Loki gaped at both the unassuming art teacher and his diabolical partner, wordless in his shock.

 

“Got you,” Tony stuck out his tongue. “Go sit on the bleachers with the other losers, Lokes.”

 

“Tony, darling?” said Loki, pointing at Tony’s feet. His boyfriend had done a victory dance when Steve tagged Loki, but his dance moves had put him right over the tape separating the two sides.

 

“Oh, no,” he breathed. He didn’t have a chance to step back before Banner was tagging him. “E tu, Bruce?”

 

Banner grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, Tony,” he said. “Be more careful next time?”

 

“I’m going to rig your entire room to smell like onions,” Tony said matter-of-factly. “The whole room. Onions. You’ll  _ die _ .”

 

Rogers wrinkled his nose. “Is that normal for them?” he asked Loki, watching Tony huff threats about various vegetables to an unimpressed Banner. 

 

“I don’t question it,” Loki shrugged. “Don’t worry; you’ll get used to it.”

 

“Do I even  _ want  _ to?”

 

Loki snorted a laugh, but chose not to answer. He grabbed Tony by the wrist, dragging him to the bleachers.

 

“I can’t believe we lost,” Tony moaned. “This is the first time in, what, seven years?”

 

“Something like that,” Loki hummed. “Honestly, I expected you to defect to my side.”

 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “No,  _ you  _ were supposed to come to my side. I had Nat.”

 

“Next time, we’ll  _ both  _ defect,” Loki compromised, wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “We’ll make our own little team and destroy them all.”

 

“So romantic,” Tony smiled, kissing him softly. “Sounds like a plan.”

 

(In a surprising turn of events, Steve won Capture the Flag, outrunning Rhodey and Bruce, even though he was the sole surviving member of his team. The Art Department, as per tradition, hung the flag in a place of honor. The Science Department, also per tradition, stole it and lit it on fire, replacing it with a pair of Clint’s socks. Even though no one could prove that it was them, Steve was less than impressed.)

**Author's Note:**

> frankly i keep forgetting this series exists because i always lose my wips in the depths of my google drive
> 
> for all of you who read it, sorry and thanks for sticking with it
> 
> i hope you liked it! comments and kudos make me smile
> 
> send me prompts (or just yell at me) on tumblr: https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/


End file.
